So why not just “date around,” huh? Why not have some fun while I can? It’s not as if it’s going to hurt anything. Whoever I eventally marry will understand. They probably went out once or twice too. No biggie!
I’ll tell you why not.
1) because it’s a lie straight from Satan’s lips.
2) because the reasoning is sinful, as well as the fallacy of “Tu Quoque:”
- ‘Tu Quoque’ is dismissing someone’s viewpoint on an issue because he himself is inconsistent in that very thing. — The Fallacy Detective by Nathaniel and Hans Bluedorn
3) because it’s doing an easy thing that will have hard consequences (for more on that, read chapter 9 in the book Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris).
4) Because it means taking the focus off of Christ and thinking of your flesh.
ONE – “Dating around” is not harmless fun! Only from a woman’s point of view can I say this, knowing how easily our emotions become involved in a relationship of any kind. You will carry that memory with you forever. Not only that, but in more serious situations, people get physically harmed.
TWO – Playing the “Blame Game” is sin. Pointing at others to minimize your own shortcomings is pride, pure and simple. God calls pride (among other sins) an “abomination.” It’s in His list of The Top Seven Most Abominable in Proberbs 6:16-19. In fact, it’s at the very top. (This doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships. It counts for ALL areas of your life.)
Also, it is not “in lowliness of mind…esteem[ing] other[s] better than [your]selves” (Philippians 2:3). Nor is it portraying Christ or fulfilling His charge of us:
- Matthew 5:13-16
Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
- Matthew 7:3-5, 17-20
And why beholdest thou the mote (speck) that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam (log) that is in thine own eye?
Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.
THREE – To give into the flesh as a Christian is to forsake Christ. There’s no other way to spin it. Once we have repented, believed on, and accepted Christ as our One and only Savior and means to God (John 3:16, 14:6, 1 Timothy 2:5), we are “a new creature” (2 Corinthians 5:17, Galatians 5:16, 25). Our sins have been crucified on the cross with Him. We are now of Christ, and called to good works for His glory alone (Matthew 7:17-20, 12:35, Galatians 2:20, Colossians 2:6, 1 Peter 3:17, James 4:7).
Also, “…the right thing, though hard, really is the smartest – and in many ways the easier – thing.” Do Hard Things, Chapter 9 ‘Taking a Stand.’ In the end, a hardest decision will pay off in a more agreeable (good) consequence, than if you chose a more popular, easy decision and paid for it in the near or farther-off future with a more unpleasant (or potentially deadly) consequence.
FOUR – I think this one’s easy enough to see, but I’ll explain further in any case. If any thing that you are involved in or thinking or doing in any way is
not glorifying God to your utmost, and not denying your flesh, it is sin (Galatians 6:14, Ephesians 6:12, Philippians 4:8, 2:2-3, Colossians 3:23, 2 Timothy 2:22).
The bottom line is, God has called us unto Him – not unto ourselves, and not unto a casual date. Until we are married…
…He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
(All Biblical references are from the King James Version)
